I have talked about mom breaks before but I thought well why not talk about it again. During the time of waiting that we have done in this house I have been very stressed and very wore down. This weary nature has actually caused me to get sick and while I am sick I now understand how much trying to be strong can cost a mom. A time of waiting is not easy for any house but here it gets hard because not only am I being strong for the kid who is not sick but has symptoms that can come at any second. I am also having to be strong for the kid who has no clue what is going on she wants to comfort her sister because to her she is sick. Being strong however has consequences that no one mentions. Being strong causes a person to slip and become weak and more acceptable to sickness. This past weekend I took a time out and went to get my hair done. I got a cute cut that I love but the real thing that made me happy is the fact that hair salons are kids free. I just wanted to relax and let my stresses leave with the hair on the floor and then I got asked if I wanted to go back for a treatment on my hair and of course I jumped at that chance because I need some time to get my thoughts together so I can be strong for my babies as we go tomorrow for answers and if not answers than the next step. I am trusting the lord with my angel and I know that she is here for a reason. The story of Ariana (my youngest) is a great story and it’s a story about God’s love. I almost died giving birth to her but God didn’t let me die so I am here for a reason and so is she; So I don’t believe that the same God who would work so hard in bringing her into this world and giving me these two years with her would think that two years is enough time for her to do what she is called for. I hold true to the fact that God sees the future and he sees things I will never see.
1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in deep mire,
where there is no foothold;
I have come into deep waters,
and the flood sweeps over me.
3 I am weary with my crying;
my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim
with waiting for my God.
This has been my prayer during this time of waiting when I have felt like I was being ignored or just plain shocked that this was going on but I now know of trust and I will wait upon the lord for I know he is good.
Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!
This past weekend was all about taking breaks. The girls went to Gigi’s house so me and the husband could actually get some time to ourselves. It was nice we made a reservation at a restaurant and dressed up and enjoyed our time together. The nice thing about these weekends is that we don’t talk about the issues and the scary stuff that we deal with everyday. We talk about the small things and we just bask in the fact that we can eat a whole meal complete with a molten chocolate cake without the girls wanting some. Also its nice because well my mother in law is amazing at spoiling my children she gives them the cereals I don’t (sugary stuff) and she gives them baths and massages them. I used to try to do those things to when I would hear what she did it sounded awesome and I tried in the beginning to do all of that and be the mom who would read stories every night but then I realized it just wasn’t fun for any of us. My kids like the structure they have at home and then they have a different structure elsewhere that they know by heart. Like my oldest said the first night she was away she was in her bed at her Gigi’s she goes “I need monkey and music please.” It’s because that is her norm there and it’s what she knows. So to every mom who hears some awesome idea and tries it and it doesn’t work don’t lose heart. Every mom is a mom to her child and must do what is right for her child. No two parents are alike just like no two children are alike.
For someone brought up before the tech age I had no clue what filters were when taking pictures or any of that but then I started to see what it meant and it made me think of life and how many time we make our life look like those filters. Where we try to hide the hard, the rough parts, the raw true parts of ourselves. In life I have seen so many hurt people put on those filters and show a person who has it all together all the time and then only crumbles when they are alone. I have been there myself I put a brave smile on and keep trucking on but I can tell you this there comes a time when every person just can’t put a filter on their life. There comes a time where even when you try to be strong its the end of your rope and your filter crumbles. That is what my week has been like; No matter how hard I was fighting I just had reached my breaking point. I couldn’t fake a smile and I had to ask for help in the form of asking my manager at work for a day off so I could rest and breathe because that’s the thing we are all human and we weren’t meant to live our lives in filters all the time we were meant to be raw and we were meant to need others. Especially in motherhood you can’t do it alone and when you try it wears you down and sometimes you need to just go to someone and simply ask and for them its going to be like a simple question but for you its like holding your hands out for a life raft when the boat is sinking. I had a customer remind me of my number one message on this blog that I have forgotten you have to be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of your kids. So don’t be afraid to ask for help if its just a day off work or if you can afford it hire a babysitter while you go get a coffee or go eat without screaming children. I actually did that on my day off it was a blessing to get to sit down without the babies that I love but needed to space myself from so I could be the mom I need to be for the babies who look up to me to be their strength. via Daily Prompt: Filter
In my last blog I talked about ways I relax and taking time for ones self so I decided to talk about the homemade bath salts I use. I have a special jar that I put mine in where my husband before we got married made a jar of all my favorite scents and then wrote all the reasons he loves me. First thing you will need is a jar I use one from a craft store. Then you want to feel it up with Epson salt and take whatever essential oil you want I always use lavender because it’s my favorite and use as many drops as needed to make it where you like the smell (I use five or six). Then if you would like you can add food coloring to color it to a nice shade. You can also do this in tiers. Just put a little salt in put essential oil and keep doing that and add colors for tiers. That is how mine started but then once the layers was gone I started using lavender. I hope this helps and remember you time is essential and needed.